Rebecca Lee
The morning the Epiphany Star Words were handed out, Frank and I were in Becca’s line. When it was my turn, Becca handed me the word Playfulness. I walked back to my seat with tears in my eyes. I kept thinking, this is a mistake. This is not my word.
After a bit, I returned to Becca’s line. I told her that I would like a new word. I even said please. When she looked puzzled, I explained my daughter had passed away the previous April and I can’t play. Understanding my grief, Becca grabbed another star from the basket.
“That is exactly why you need to find playfulness,” she said. “I am not going to take that start from you, but I’m going to give you a second star, ‘Prayer,’ so that you can pray for playfulness.’”
Becca looked at me with love and said, “You’ve got this!”
I got home that day and taped both words together on the refrigerator. Playfulness and Prayer.
In addition to the death of my daughter, last September I had totaled my car on the way to work and suffered a traumatic brain injury. The complications have been long lasting.
There are so many things I can’t do that I did before my accident. I am sensitive to light and sound, even sometimes singing or music hurts. How am I supposed to find playfulness if I can’t do the things I used to do?
One day it was as if God woke me up. I was reminded to look around at all the things that are so beautiful right in front of my eyes. With the extra time on my hands while recovering from my accident, I picked up a few hobbies that remind me to see beauty in the world around me and to be intentional about finding joy. I garden, take long walks, and often go to the beach to find seashells. I have joined a knitting group that makes prayer shawls which has given me purpose.
I also have joined the Monday Floral Ministry making floral arrangements for the homebound in our church. This has led me to wonderful friendships with beautiful women. We laugh and chat and through making floral arrangements, we even play. This has become a joyful highlight in my week.
Frank bought me puzzles and joins me in playing games that are easier on my eyes like scrabble. We have enjoyed this time bonding together, a gift I otherwise would not have had.
When I am on my walks, I pray to God thanking Him for all the beauty around me. I will snap a picture to remember all He has done during my grief. Yes, I still grieve, but with Playfulness and Prayer God has opened my eyes and my heart to the beauty of the world He created.
Something I was too busy to stop and truly take in before.
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